When You're Ready

I hear your name again

And it's the last thing I want

Not because I've moved on

Because it hurts to want someone this long

I really miss you

And I hope I see you soon

But " soon" has come and gone about a hundred times

Since we stopped being us

It's been way too long

We don't hang out anymore

And when we try

We just fight like we're keeping score

You try too hard

I try too hard too

Maybe that's the problem

We keep trying to fix what we already outgrew

I'm thinking 'bout the day you walked away

Not because I want you back

Because I keep wondering

Did you walk

Or did I push?

I'm thinking 'bout the day you walked away

Every single day

And I'm still here

Not waiting

Just… here

He's chilling

She's working

He's drinking

She's smoking

And nothing really changes

But nothing gets better either

You know I know

I get it

Life just does what it does

But it wrecks my head

Every time someone says your name

Keep asking when, where, how, who

Like the details will make it make sense

But they don't

They just make it sad

The awful kind of sad

That doesn't come with a fix

I just hope you know

You can always come home.

Not because I'm waiting

(okay, maybe a little)

But because home

was never a place

It was you

And you

are still you

Even if we're different now.